To the Man Who Was Rude to my Kids…

Kendra and I took Addie along on another hike with the Outdoor Adventures Club. We headed to Mt. Cardigan early yesterday morning, looking forward to hiking through the beautiful foliage. The kids were excited, and practically ran up the mountain!

We didn’t stay long at the top because it was windy and cold, but we took a bit of time to eat a quick lunch and then head back down the mountain.

On the way down, we passed another group of kids who were all decked out in expensive fleeces, fancy day packs and snazzy hiking boots. An older gentleman passed both of our groups, and remarked loudly how happy he was to see hikers on the trail wearing appropriate gear. He went on and on, making sure that our group could hear every word of his diatribe. To him, I have addressed this letter…

To the arrogant, elitist man who was rude to my kids,

You made your point loud and clear when you ridiculed and embarrassed my inner-city students. Though you never uttered the words “you people don’t belong here,” you made it understood that my kids were not welcome on the mountain because instead of wearing nice Keens on their feet, and Patagonia fleeces on their backs, they were dressed in sweatshirts and sneakers.

Let me tell you a little about my kids. Most of them are poor. Very poor. They work part-time jobs, not for the learning experience or character-building, but because they need to help their families earn enough money to pay rent and buy groceries. Many of them are immigrants, refugees, or 1st generation Americans. English was not their first language, and sadly, you are not the first person to make them feel badly because of what they don’t have.

However, to me, what makes them amazing is what they do have. Despite the adversity they have faced in their lives, they are kind, gentle, and giving kids. They work hard toward the American dream, using their incredible strength to stay off streets filled with the allure of quick money, drug-dealers, and gang members.

Instead of getting into trouble, they chose to join an Outdoor Adventures club at their school. The excitement and pride they exhibit each time we conquer a mountain is infectious. For them, it’s not just a physical accomplishment, it’s the opportunity to realize that they can overcome any obstacle in their lives.

However, you, sir, seem to think it’s not okay for them to have access to nature because they do not have fancy gear only the rich kids can afford. Do you really think that only those teenagers who can purchase a $200 jacket should be allowed on the mountain? Though my kids may not have been decked out head to toe in gear, they were warm, had plenty of food and water, proper adult supervision, and above all, smiles on their faces.

This may come as a shock to you, but there was a time before Gortex and polypropylene. The next time you want to denigrate an ecstatic, wonderful group of kids, think about the effect your words will have on not just their feelings in the moment, but on their life trajectories. You told them they didn’t belong because they did not have enough money to be on the mountain. What kind of message is that to send to a child?

As Sydney J. Harris wrote, ‘”If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.” You sir, are part of the problem. Perhaps instead of being an overgrown bully, using hateful words to keep away people whom you deem different or undeserving, be a grown up and donate your old Patagonia fleeces to my kids, or buy a bunch of wool socks and donate them to the club.

As a teacher, I can’t provide a lot of material things to my kids, but I can expose them to things they otherwise would not experience. I am forever grant writing and posting projects on Donorschoose.com, so that they do not have to be punished for the misfortune of being poor in America. Because, quite frankly, not having a lot of money is nothing to be embarrassed about, but being an arrogant, exclusionary grown-up is…

Respectfully,
Jen