Happy Birthday Addison!

One year ago today, our little Addison was born. Up until that moment, I had been blogging our road to being parents. However, my dedication to documenting our experiences waned when Kendra’s blood pressure became dangerously high, and she was put on modified bed rest at 36 weeks. This happened literally on the day we finished teaching for the year. We had planned to use that month to finish getting ready for Addie’s arrival, but instead, Kendra had to be sitting or lying down as much as possible. She was allowed to get up only to go to the bathroom. Needless to say it made for a tiring month for me, and a hellishly boring one for her. With less than a week to go until Addison’s due date, our doctor made the decision to induce the delivery.

Waiting for Addie!

On July 13th, with our bags packed, we traveled into Boston to the hospital. The plus side of an induction was not having to worry about a Red Sox game making our drive in to the city unbearably long while Kendra was in labor. We had a leisurely drive in; Kendra’s mom accompanied us on the ride. It took an hour of waiting for us to get a room – apparently a lot of other people were having babies on that particular day. Finally, at about 5pm, we were placed in a room, and Kendra was given her first round of induction meds. She was already having contractions, but she hadn’t been feeling them. We hung out in the room, chatted, and waited for our friend Joel, who not only offered to take Jane back to our place, but also kindly brought us a copy of the latest Harry Potter DVD so we could be entertained during what we expected to be a long, boring, uneventful evening. We were told the induction probably would take at least 12 hours to kick in, so we expected that we’d have a decent night of rest before the real work began.

I went to sleep around 11pm, but by midnight Kendra had moved into serious labor. After holding out for as long as she could, she woke me up and we took the first of many walks around the hospital unit. Did I mention she’d opted to go sans epidural? The pain worsened throughout the night, and by 4am, after two showers, sitting on the stability ball, and a whole lot of squeezing my hand, she finally relented and got an epidural. This was the point when everything began to go wrong.

I was asked to leave the room while they inserted the epidural. I sat in the waiting area, texting my sister. Exhausted, I was praying the medicine would bring some relief to Kendra, and we could both get some sleep. By that time she was still only a few centimeters dilated, so we expected it to be sometime later in the day that she’d be giving birth.

The procedure took about 20 minutes, and when I returned to the room, Kendra was groggy, and finally feeling some relief. Her contractions had been 2-3 minutes long, with only 30 seconds to a minute between each one. I crawled onto my cot, and had been asleep for less than 15 minutes when the nurses came back in and woke us up. They had noticed that the baby’s heart rate was dropping drastically with each contraction. She was compromised – possibly something to do with her umbilical cord. The next two hours were a blur – intervention after intervention was tried to no avail. They broke Kendra’s water, then decided that wasn’t a good move, and hooked her up to be filled with saline. She gracefully complied with everything they asked of her – at one point she crouched on all fours for over an hour in hopes the baby would shift and the umbilical cord would be relieved of undue pressure. This entire time, our doctor, who was on her 25th hour of a 24-hour shift, stayed in the room. I knew that couldn’t be a good sign because the doctor usually only comes in for the actual delivery.

I was shaking with fear and exhaustion. Surrounded by 6 nurses and doctors, Kendra continued to be brave. By 5:30am, I knew where this was headed. I called my sister, and then Kendra’s parents, asking them to come as soon as possible. They arrived at the same time, just as Kendra and I were being told, “you have a healthy baby right now. If you don’t have a c-section, you will have no baby.” The decision was made. As they wheeled Kendra to the operating room, I was asked to change into scrubs and gather our belongings. They sat me in the recovery room where we’d go after the baby was born, and told me it would only be 10 minutes or so until they came to get me. That quickly turned into 40 minutes, as it took them much longer to get Kendra stabilized than they anticipated; by the time I entered the O.R., they had already begun.

The c-section itself was terrifying. Kendra was strapped down with her arms spread out like Jesus on the cross. A curtain hung between the doctors and us. It seemed to take forever until at 7:28am I finally saw them carry a very blue, very quiet Addison to the NICU team. I was terrified. Kendra was shaking, barely conscious, and our baby wasn’t crying.

First picture ever taken of Addie.

Finally, I heard a sad, scratchy little cry. They stabilized Addie, and called me over to cut the cord. I was torn between her and Kendra, not wanting to leave Kendra alone, but not wanting to leave my daughter alone either. I shakily cut the cord, and then accompanied her to be weighed. Just 5.5 lbs, and only 18 inches long, she was a peanut; but she was healthy, and more importantly, she and Kendra were both alive.

The doctors swaddled her tightly, and I held her close as I sat with Kendra through the rest of the surgery. Addison spent the entire time looking at everything, taking in this new, strange world. The anesthesiologist remarked that most babies went right to sleep – she was amazed at Addie’s alertness. Her intense curiosity of her surroundings has not waned in the last year – she is a silent observer, taking in everything around her. I wonder what is going on inside of her head.

The next four days are a bit of a blur. Some highlights – Addison was the baby model for the demonstration bath – just like I was! She never lost more than a few ounces, and quickly showed how strong she was. My world was completely changed on July 14, 2010 – in ways I never imagined. The last year has been amazing – watching her learn to sit up, crawl, and then stand. Seeing her first teeth pop in, and her first smile. Nothing is more incredible than the gianormous smile she gets when I walk into her room each morning to get her out of her crib, or the hugs and kisses she gives every day.

Happy Birthday Addison Clare! Your mommies love you!